Went to see grandpa again just now. He seems better than ytd.. Seeing the way he looked at mom, can't help but to tear. Honestly I don't know how my mom control her tears. He kept reaching out her for hands. 

Really can't imagine my life w/o mommy and daddy. Wanted to ask dad how he feels w/o mama and gonggong but I don't dare.

 It really hurt seeing yeye hands filled with bruises. He seems so small now compared to last time. Maybe cause I grew taller but than again he really lost a lot of weight after mama passed away. His eyesbag grew cause apparently he can't sleep due to his breathing problem. Could hear him trying hard to breathe at times. Really hope all this pain will end soon.