Once I'm done with all this, I'm gonna watch The Notebook, Forrest Gump, Now is Good and many many more (:

If I'm rational enough, things won't end up like this. If not for that particular moment which changed the entire situation...I guess I'll never be worthy enough. I wish I could just fuck it and do things without thinking too much but I guess I'll never be able to do that. To think that I thought I'm someone that has my own opinion, someone that knows what she's doing. Maybe I'm wrong. Time for me to back off.

Saw so many videos and pictures of happy couples + wedding proposal and AWWWWWWW, WHY SO CUTE. Feeling really happy and joyful for themmmm. ^^V

Is it just me? Why do I feel like when I really need someone, I really can't find anyone. This is when I really hate uni. Sometimes it really suck not to be tgt with your old friends. Really envious of those people that came over NUS with their old friends. It's just sad that I'm like distant away from them. Although it's better than JC, but at least at that pt of time I still had my close friends and juniors with me. But now, those that I'm close with are not staying in hall or our timetable always clash. Maybe Im just too needy for my own good. Maybe I need to start opening up to hall people and stop isolating myself. Really feeling super screwed up.

School had been really great lately (: Or rather for the past few days. Now that Gen's RHMP ended, YAYYY, I've my study buddy back with me. Found new study buddies such as the others from MSE and Alex and BFF HAHAHHA! They're really damn noisy when they're studying but really enjoy my time with them. HAHAHA. Quality time well spent. Make me really enjoy the process of studying. HAHAHA. Talking about that, I've been ponning lectures and relying entirely on webcast to actually satisfy my sleeping desires HAHAHA. Basically have been sleeping more than 8 hrs per day but nvmmm, it's worth it cause I can feel my mojo coming back to me HAHAHA Shall sleep now *.* Feeling so hungry now. Can't wait for breakfast later BYEEEE

Really hate the peer pressure thing they're instilling in hall ): I really don't get it. Is it a crime to actually not go for it cause I prioritize my studies more than such activities. I hate it when people talk to me in such irritating tone. Honestly I'm feeling quite disappointed cause the people in the sports in _____ are really not friendly. Honestly I really enjoy that sports but at this rate that their going, trngs are like worthless luh. Okay but then again maybe I've ponned too many trngs this week. Shall attend most of my trngs next week. Really considering if i should quit the sport that I've really like but ))): I don't know. Having second thoughts.

You Should Fall For Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

Repost : http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/you-should-fall-for-someone-who-doesnt-love-you/

It occurred to me the other day that there might be people in this world who have never known unrequited love, have never fallen for someone who didn’t fall too.

I know it’s rarer than a solar eclipse, but it seems likely that some have managed it; people who married their high school sweetheart, who got it right on the first try, who were seemingly born with enough innate confidence to walk right up to the object of their affection and say, “I think you’re great, would you like to go on a date sometime” and whose confidence was rewarded with a resolute, “Absolutely, I’d love to” and a Happily Ever After. The rest of us would be inclined to murder a couple like this if we ever came across them, but I maintain that they are the ones who are missing out. Everyone should fall for someone who doesn’t love them back at least once.

People who don’t love you can be found in many places. Pick the person in a brand new relationship; they can’t see more than five inches past the face of their new love, let alone far enough to see you pining away in the corner. Pick the girl you’ve been friends with for ages, the one who refers to you as a brother and will never see you as anything else. Pick the boy who flirts with everyone, sleeps with everyone, the one who doesn’t know what he’s looking for and never seems satisfied. He’ll do just fine, too.

This has to be more than a crush, more than just a fleeting attraction. Thinking they look cute when they smile, or letting your imagination momentarily wander when they touch your skin isn’t enough. You must love them with every fiber of your being, from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep, day after heartbroken day. Memorize the rhythm and cadence of their voice, the subtle gestures of their hands and each expression of their face, so when you’re asleep and dreaming of a world in which you’re together, it seems real. Feel your soul fracture each morning when you wake up and realize it isn’t.

Let the agony, the obsession, consume you. Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

Perhaps you think I’m crazy for suggesting anyone let themselves fall into this pit of despair, that I’m an emotional sadist of the worst variety. But darling reader, I assure you I’m not, because eventually something happens to every single person who loves someone who doesn’t love them back: they manage to stop being in love.

While it takes varying amounts of time, everyone finds their breaking point, that moment when enough becomes enough. It could be the third night you cry yourself to sleep, the fifth time they cancel plans with you to be with someone else, or the eighth night in a row you spend getting drunk alone. It can take months, or even years. But here’s what you’ll have once you get there:

After surviving that kind of ache, you’ll be so much stronger, so much more certain of yourself. You’ll see that all pain (physical, emotional, and metal) is a temporary state of being, not a permanent one. There is always a reason to go on, always a reason to fight for yourself.

You’ll realize that because you are not loved by one does not mean you are not loved by all. You’ll understand that love cannot be won like a teddy bear at the fair; cannot be stolen like a rare painting from a museum in the dead of night. You’ll see that real love comes first from within, not from anyone else. You learn that those annoying people who say things like, “real love comes from within” were telling you the truth this whole time, but you had to learn it for yourself. Don’t worry – you don’t need to tell them they were right.

Getting over unrequited love feels like having a blindfold removed – you suddenly see all the love you’ve had in your life this whole time, and you’ll appreciate those individuals like never before. You will be humbled, you will be grateful, you will be wiser.

Here’s the best part, though, about getting over someone who doesn’t love you: you realize that nobody healed your heartache, that you were able to fix yourself all on your own. And once you’ve proven to yourself that you can recover from that, you won’t be afraid to go looking for love again.

And again, and again and again.

And one of those times, you’re bound to be rewarded with someone who reciprocates every ounce of your unbridled affection, who loves you just as much as you love them, and that will be the most supreme feeling of ecstasy you can fathom. You’ll see that loving someone who didn’t love you back was totally worth it. 

Ahhh, time to actually think about stuff rather than being emotionless HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Really need to spend more time with my family. Thankfully someone reminded me how important my family is to me and yeah, realised if I don't treasure them now, I won't have enough time to do so in the future. Actually come to think of it, my parents are suffering more than me but yet to make me happy, they actually sacrifice a lot for me. But then again I'm starting to dread school so most probably I'll be going home every Friday from now on. Homesick again ):

Celebrated Sihui bday ^^ Happy birthday to my favourite roomie. Seeing how dedicated Kaiming is towards her, wah they really damn cute tgt. Plus HTHT with both Sharlene and Kaiming really haizxzx. Don't know what am i doing now HAHAHA! Obviously playing with fire but ohwell, thankfully could save our friendship after so many yrs since it ended. Meeting up soon to study HAHA. Hopefully we can study and focus huh. Now my turn to tutor you again. Back to the good old days.

Although mid yrs didnt exactly end with a happy note, I'm just glad that everything is over. Celebrated bff birthday after physics paper. Thanks for being such a great brother and friend. You're always there to not only bond the og tgt, but also listen to us when were in trouble. Really glad  that we are gonna be in the same course for like another 4 more yrs HAHAA! Too bad for you. Hope you won't be too depressed over that incident! Anything just share with us k! All the best!

Went supper with nico, gen, Kenneth, Zhafri and his friend. Gotta say my carvings have been satisfied ^^V happy me hehhh. Stayed up till 6 to talk to gen. What will I do without her mannn! 

Went out with bestie after a long while. Had quite a nice short catch up. Sadly my stomach decided to be a bitch and annoyed the hell out of me. 

Went over to Marcus bday celebration at mbs. Had quite a fun time not only htht but drinking. Quite funny to GL people mannn. My stomach is still hurting now ): maybe I've drank too much with an empty stomach. Didnt really eat for the entire day. But trying to finish 4 bottles was no joke mannn. Ohwell at least I've drank my heart's content. Really thankful for the guys for actually always helping to keep a look out to protect the girls, making sure that we are comfortable. Whatt would we do w/o y'all 😘

On my way home now but my stomach still feeling damn URGHHH. Need to find food to fill the annoying stomach of mine. Byeeee

Really so thankful for Gen <3 Was practically eating nonstop last night in order to make ourselves happy. HAHA. Stupid paper but ohwell. Went all the way to Ameen that side to find out that our icecream shop was closed. Ended up settling for one tub of icecream from 7-11 and talked all the wayyyy. Plus round two of supper at Uncle Vincent. HTHT with both Nico and Gen when we're suppose to study. Really got to know a softer side of Nico HEH. All thanks to Nico, we could suddenly form so many links around RH and ohwell, lets just say the links are kinda interesting. Slept really late and ended up waking up late for lecture. HAHA but got to say that physics lecturer is really good. Should crash that lecture more often. But felt really happy today although the paper really sucked. But HAHAHA! Now that I'm happy, realised that i could understand physics much better. Maybe the key of me doing well = mug happily HAHAHA. Shall take my afternoon nap and study hard later. Realised my physics concept isn't that bad. Shall start my one mth intensive mugging tgt with Gen when finals is coming. For now SLEEP ^^ BYEEEE

After intensive mugging for one mth, only managed to obtained like 5/10 while my course mates are like getting 8/10 or 10/10. Fuck life. Maybe history will just repeat itself again, which explains why I did so badly for A. What's the point of studying so hard when it seems like I'll never do well.