Actually I think I'll miss times like this during the holidays. Just studying tgt with random people in the club rm, eating chicken tgt in the club room and talking to friends, getting to know what's happening in their life. Somehow just felt so AWWWW. Used to feel like such things are a waste of time but now...I guess I need to stop taking things for granted and get out of my shell hehe. Shall go and sleep naooo. BAIIII

The longer I get to know someone, somehow their flaws just intensify by like 10 times more. Not that I wanna judge people and I know I shouldn't be judging but it's hard cause I'm just naturally judgemental somehowwww. I guess that's a bad part about me cause I'll tend to just throw these people one side and just ignore them. But then again I hate it when people ignore me. HAHAHHA. Contradicting right. HAIZXZ

Just when I thought I can do well. Feeling fucking depressed now cause I know my next two papers gonna suck balls. Everytime I told myself I wanna work hard, somehow something will happen and my emotions all just POOF. Annoying horrr. Maybe my next new year resolution should be STOP BEING SO EMOTIONAL HAHA. Hopefully next sem will be much better since I'm gonna cut down on clubbing and start being more hardworking. HAHA. Hopefully our new implemented study sessions will help and I need to start being more hardworking by asking profs questions. Back to books ): Byeeee

I fucking hate overly egoistic people. If you're trying to fish for compliments, just get lost. I won't praise you until I think you're worth it. Just cause one person offended you doesn't mean the whole world owes you. Fucking childish.

It feels good to have people that's facing the same situation as me. But then again am I being overly idealistic? I really wonder. I want more answers. Hopefully one day the stars will be able to give me my answers. In the future I want my bedroom ceiling to be made of glass. Random much right?

I appreciate it when I find like-minded people, people that treasure their family and friends. In the past I would very much trust them but now, I'll just doubt again and again. But then again maybe time will solve everything and maybe someone will restore my faith. 

Within these few weeks, it seems like I've known more people than before. Maybe it's due to the fact that I can't be alone and I need company but one day I'll get used to it. I hear my books calling meeee. Byeeeee

I'll drill it into my mind until I turn into one.

The world works in such weird ways. But that totally explains why we clique off so well. Thankful to have someone that's always feeling exactly how I feel at that pt of time. Sometimes I have a strong feeling towards something but I don't know how to explain why I felt like that.  You help me to fill up that space, allowing me to understand myself better. It's just great to know that someone knows how I feel at that pt of time.

I really wanna thank God for always letting things fall in place perfectly. Thanks for answering my prayers, at least its not too late now to make up for it and grow up as a person right?  HAHA.

I didn't know so many people still read this blog. HAHA. I thought its dead but nooooo, its not. Really didnt expect it. Makes me so happy somehow that YOU PEOPLE CARE FOR ME. HAHAHAHA. Sorry feeling damn high now for some unknown reason. Maybe cause I'm gonna have lots of free time to study that's whyyy. Just to let y'all know I'm really okay nowwww. Only available if yall wanna study HAHAA. MUGGER NINGGG. KTHXBYEEEE

Another sad story. From the person I least expect from but ohwell. Only word to describe it is tragic. Indeed the one that cares the most will be the one that suffers.

Just sad that I've to come back to hall. I like staying at home cause mommy and daddy totally pamper me ttm but sadly they're distracting. Will spend more time with them during the holidays ): I hate it when daddy will keep asking me to come back and he miss me. Makes me feel so guilty.

On the brighter side I've my close friends around me esp fat fuck to accompany me. Had been ages since then but I really find comfort with familiar people. Its good to have people surrounding me, especially those i know that really care for me. MUACKSSSS.

Shall watch webcast haizxz. BAIIII.

Finally snap out of it ^^ I really wanna thank my favourite fat fuck for always enlightening me when I really need it. I guess I've always been thinking from the wrong perspective when I'm alone and forget about the other aspects I've considered in the past. 

I know you're reading this and I genuinely wish you all the best with her ^^ Sorry for creating so much trouble for you for the past few days and HAHAHA,  I KNOW I'M ANNOYING BUT AS BESTIE YOU UNDERSTAND RIGHT HEHE. Don't worry you'll still be my bestie kayy . 

Anyway idk if you'll come across this or not.  Although I don't know you personally but just to let you know pls treasure him (: Although he can be stubborn and erm alpha male at times but I'm sure you'll be able to control this little boy. Just be honest with him and everything will work out fine between you two.  Hope to see you one day (:

Walao I can't stand myself sometimes but ohwell,  must treasure this three weeks to mug like dog.  After that yayyy FREEDOMMM.. CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND TIME WITH ALL MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE PLUS TRAININGS YAYY. So many plans,  so little time. If only there's more than 24 hours a day hehe. Back to books.  Watching my presentation video just make me cringe.  Wtf my voice sounds so.... yuck.

Can someone help me to erase this pain that I'm feeling now. I wished I'll just sleep and never wake up ever again. Why can't you just fucking be happy for me when I am and always pulling me back to the pathetic state I've once been. Sometimes I really hate you so much to the core.  Always saying you're doing things for my own good but fuck.  I don't wanna think. Just do anything to remove my heart and brain. I'm begging you.

I always had this mindset that in the future, I'll be able to find someone that will be willing to do anything for me but somehow after experiencing so much, after listening so much, after thinking so much, it feels like I'll never encounter such person ever again. I guess what Sandy said was right, so what if you plan so much, eventually if you find so called "the one" and he have alternative plans, all these ideals you have in your mind like totally wasted.

Maybe I'll just continue these plans tgt with my parents and adopted kids. Or maybe he has something in mind for me. Besides those adorable cute people I've around me, I would like to thank god for helping me. Thanks for answering my prayers. Thanks letting me see the bigger picture as initially was just myopic and too caught up with my own plans. Thanks for always giving me a direction. Although sometimes I really feel I'm not worthy enough to be part of your plan but you've always given me the assurance that you'll always be there for me. I'm really so blessed (:

I guess there's no purpose for me to blog from now on. Easier to be that unfeeling creature that I've used to be. I need to stop being dependent on people.