I really didn't see this coming. Honestly, it's actually the last thing on my mind. I didn't dare to tell her what exactly happened but honestly, what if it really deteriorated. I've been telling myself it's just cause I'm out of form, I haven't been training as vigorously as before but what if it's really not cause of that. There are just so many things to think about, so many decisions to make, so many sacrifices...

On a side note, I really hope you will read this, I'm really not in the best of mood so stop it. Especially today, if you think it's really funny, keep it to yourself then. If it's really torture to your eyes or it's too horrific, then don't look at all. I didn't choose to be like that. I've already give in a lot of times, trying to tolerate everything and honestly I'm reaching my threshold.

Seriously I'm really reaching my limits already. Both physically and mentally exhausted. I can't push myself when it comes to sports, I need much more sleep than usual cause my body isn't functioning as well as before, I don't feel as happy as before cause nothing seems to be going well for me. Have been telling myself to keep positive, to just tolerate all these nonsense but how much longer?

Really can't wait to get out of JC, do whatever I want before...life is just too short.